Monday, November 18, 2013

Tonight

As I sit here alone tonight contemplating my own fantasies; being dominated, raped, used, treated like nothing more than an object for someone else's pleasure, I think to myself 'why'?
Why do I want to feel these things; is it to experience wreckless disregard of control?
I truly think that what I want to experience is not being able to have a choice or say in the matter.
I want someone to take control and MAKE me do things and put me into a position where I could not stop them even of o wanted to, such as being bound or restrained, overpowered by more than one person, etc.
Just thinking about this tonight arouses me to no end. 
It is nights like these where I wish I had a Dominant to submit to, to take control. 
I'll probably just end up masturbating tonight as my arousal is high.
What I wouldn't give to have a Dom to forbid me my own pleasure and make me suffer yet use me for his own. 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

The older man

I knocked on the door to which he answered.  It was dark outside as well as in the house so I could not make out distinct features but rather general objects and his outline. 
He instructs me to come in and sit in the recliner in the front room facing the television and the opposite direction from the doorway we had just walked through.
He brings me in a beer to which he sits in front of me and tells me to drink up. 
I can make out his features a little more clearly now, an older gentleman about 20 years my senior, larger than I and muscular.
"Drink it!" he insists, I drink quickly as he leaves and returns with another as he orders me to repeat with the next. 
As this continues for a while I now find that I had wishes do would have eaten a little before I came as all the alcohol is having a tremendous affect on me with my empty stomach. 
I am just finishing my drink when he grabs my hand and puts it upon his cock and makes me feel it. It seems in my haste to consume the drinks as instructed he had returned into the room with nothing on from the waist down.
My head already in a fog I was not able to fully grasp what was taking place but was completely submissive to his instruction.
In a swift motion he grabbed me by the hair and lead me out of the room, up the stairs, and into his bedroom.
"Take your clothes off and out them there". He says to me as he motions to a chair, the whole time never letting go of his fist full of my hair.
I pause for a brief moment to which he shakes my head harshly and orders me to "do it!"
I do as instructed, he only letting go of my hair long enough for me to get my shirt off.
He leads me to the bed, he climbs backward and lays down as he pulls my head into his crotch, putting his very erect cock right against my face. 
He grabs both sides of my head, fist full of hair in each hand, and twists. 
As I open my mouth to object, he pulls my head down and my mouth into his cock and, without a word, he moves my head up and down, forcing my mouth to up and down his length.
"This is really happening" I thought to myself.  I had never had a cock in my mouth before, this was an all new experience. 
I had always dreamed of submitting to a man and the idea of being 'taken' had appealed to me, but now this was no longer a though, this was happening.
He pulled my mouth all the way down on him, his full length in my mouth and throat. 
I began to gag and try to push away, it was more than I could take.  He held fast and did not let up.
Gagging more forcefully I could take no more.  At that point he released and let me pull away choking and catching my breath.
He got up and stepped away from the bed, I payed down, my face buried in the sheet, thoughts of what just happened raced through my mind.
After a period of time, how much I can not say, but couldn't have been more than a few minutes, I felt hands on each hip and them lift and pull me backward into my knees. With that motion I raised myself up on my hands as well. 
I could feel the bed shift as he kneeled upon it and his knees position themselves between my legs for of me to spread my own knees apart on the bed.
Almost before I knew it I felt a hand pull back on my right hip just as I felt him penetrate my virgin ass and bury himself completely inside of me.
I heard a high pitched yelp echo in the room as he thrust forcefully into me, it took me a moment to realize that the yelp was actually coming from my own mouth.
He continued to thrust mercilessly into me, his hands wrapped firmly around my hips, pulling me to him with each thrust. 
I grabbed the pillow at the head of the bed and buried my face in it to quiet myself as I found myself grunting with each thrust of his cock. 
As this violation of my ass continued my discomfort rose, my grunts turned to muffled screams and pleads to stop to which he ignored. 
I found myself trying to crawl away from him as he used me but each time he pulled me by my hips back into him and smacked the side of my ass with such force that another yelp escaped my lips.
He continued until I was soo exhausted that I ceased fighting and and resigned myself to the fact that I was his bitch to do with as he pleased, practically collapsing as he continued his assault in my now very sore ass. My only objection to him was an occasional grunt that I gave.
He pulled away from my hips, I heard the snap of the condom as he pulled it off then, by surprise, he grabbed a fist full of my hair, forcibly pulled my head to his cock to which he orders me to finish him off. 
I opened my mouth and he, as before, grabbed each side of my head, and fucked my face. 
I felt his cock jerk in my mouth and then felt a flood of hot cum fill my mouth as he grunted and quickly pulled my mouth down on him. 
'Swallow it" I heard him say as his pace slowed to a stop but never withdrew from my mouth. 
I did as I was told. 
He let go of my hair and pulled away from me, I collapsed onto the bed and closed my eyes.
I'm not sure how long I slept but when I open my eyes he was asleep on the bed beside me dressed in shorts.
I slowly got up, I could still feel the results of my ealier anal pounding.
I got dressed and let myself out of the house, got into my car, and drove the 20 minutes back home, the whole time still feeling a dull pain as I say in the car.
We talked off and on after that but never meet up again.

.........this is the true story of my first submissive sexual encounter.

Who am I?

As an older male I thought I had experienced much in life and knew myself completely...
I find now that I question that.
Am I bi?  I don't believe myself to be bi per say, but rather a guy that has extreme sexual fantasies that some could consider out of the norm.
I do not fun myself attracted to other men, but rather the idea of being dominated and controlled by a man is a fantasy that I have continually as I find the idea of submission the ultimate arousal point.
Here I will post more of my own ramblings, fantasies, and thoughts as I have them.