Tonight

As I sit here alone tonight contemplating my own fantasies; being dominated, raped, used, treated like nothing more than an object for someone else's pleasure, I think to myself 'why'?

Why do I want to feel these things; is it to experience wreckless disregard of control?

I truly think that what I want to experience is not being able to have a choice or say in the matter.

I want someone to take control and MAKE me do things and put me into a position where I could not stop them even of o wanted to, such as being bound or restrained, overpowered by more than one person, etc.

Just thinking about this tonight arouses me to no end. 

It is nights like these where I wish I had a Dominant to submit to, to take control. 

I'll probably just end up masturbating tonight as my arousal is high.

What I wouldn't give to have a Dom to forbid me my own pleasure and make me suffer yet use me for his own.